Drive Safe, Have Fun, and Stay Fresh

Drive Safe, Have Fun, and Stay Fresh

As the end of summer draws near, everyone asks themselves the same thing: Where did the time go?

I have no clue. But I do know this: You have one last attempt to get a respectable tan and you literally have 3 days complete that very ambitious summer to-do list that you made near the end of the spring. Congratulations.

So if you’re interested in heading into autumn with some color and one item crossed off your summer to-do list, follow me. Hint: You’ll need a car.

The summer road trip is hardly a new concept. Hell, it’s been around since the turn of the 20th century, when dudes were so eager to leave town that they risked near-certain death for a minor change of scenery. Nowadays, the gain is greater and the risks are less—but you can still be in for a disaster if you don’t prepare adequately. Fortunately for you, I’ll fill you in on the essentials you need to keep this trip from going off the rails.



For whatever reason, many experience the temptation to go sans GPS in favor of an atlas, or—if you’re an even bigger moron—the ultimate old school approach: good old-fashioned sense of direction. I don’t understand the logic. Here’s my favorite reasoning: “Ya know, they didn’t have GPS back in 1900 and they still managed to get from Oregon to Missouri just fine.”

Yeah, well they also didn’t have Mountain Dew and Pringles and there’s not a chance in hell I’m hitting the road without those, either.


Fresh Wave

This one is crucial. In such a small space, you are left vulnerable to experiencing some of the most offensive odors imaginable. Every smell is magnified in a car.

When you receive your bag of fast food from the drive-thru window, the smell is hunger-inducing. 30 minutes later, the odor is so intense that you begin to think you are trapped in a hot dumpster on wheels. Just discover that your friend has flatulence issues? I’m sorry, you are now sentenced to death by gas chamber.

The list goes on. Don’t chance it. Before you even think about putting the key in the ignition, make sure you’re fully stocked with Fresh Wave Travel Spray and Gel. You will thank me later.



If you’re embarking on this journey with a person(s) other than yourself, you’ll need to prepare a playlist. Failing to do so is nothing short of risking your own sanity. I don’t care how well you think you know someone, you don’t truly know them until you are stuck in a confined space with that person and dead silence. As far as vehicular safety precautions go, a playlist is right up there with a seatbelt. It keeps you and the passenger from killing one another and also can prevent you from falling asleep at the wheel. Driving for several hours uninterrupted is very boring. Check out this article from Spotify for some playlist inspiration.

Now that you’re all set with sight, smell, and sound, you’re ready to hit the open road.

Drive safe, have fun, and stay fresh.


2016-11-28T17:16:54+00:00 September 3rd, 2016|Featured Story, Happiness|0 Comments

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