Welcome to the longest week of the year. Sure, the college basketball season is on the precipice of its most exciting weekend—Final Four weekend—but until then we have nothing. Baseball doesn’t begin until next week, and the NBA regular season is a giant snoozer as it enters the beginning of the end.
So to pass the time, let’s be productive and talk about everything that stinks in your life this spring. Namely, your bracket and your apartment.
Why your bracket stinks: Because everyone’s does. Out of the tens of millions of brackets that were filled out, the number of brackets that correctly predicted the entire Final Four is literally in the hundreds. So take solace in that fact.
However, you also bombed your bracket because you based your selections on stuff like picking against every school an ex attended and the best mascot. Bummer you somehow dated girls from both Carolina schools. Don’t take solace in that.
The fix: Get over your ex. And maybe watch some basketball before March Madness starts next year. For research purposes.
Why your apartment stinks: Because you’ve spent the past 2 weeks watching 100 basketball games, and have 10 crushed potato chips on your floor/couch for each game you’ve watched. You do the math.
If you’re like me, you love putting things off. There’s nothing easier than convincing myself that spring cleaning can’t start until the college basketball season ends. Of course it makes no sense and is completely arbitrary, but pay no mind to that.
But now that we find ourselves stuck in this terrible week of sports limbo, let’s just get this annual task out of the way. This may be helpful as a motivator: It’s about a billion times easier than picking a bracket—you can’t mess it up if you follow my fix below.
The championship cleaning team.